Haunted Memories-UP FOR ADOPTION
by DarknessQueen91511
Summary: NOT Part of a series. Takes place after "Time Stands Still" & before "Secrets." Emma's a good girl who fell in love with a bad boy. After a difficult time with the shooting, she's trying to get better...until she makes a mistake which leads her to a dangerous series of events. Will anyone save her or will she push everyone away? Jay/Emma-centric. Minor Semma, mentions of Sellie.
1. Chapter 1

**It takes place after "Time Stands still" and before "Secrets" of Season 4. **

**I do NOT own Degrassi. If I did, Sean and Emma would have ended up together and Emma would have NEVER married Spinner. Plus she and Jay would have dealt with the unfinished business they have never talked about it after it happened. **

**Please Review as your normally would. NO flames or anything like that. Please.**

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**Summary: **Emma Nelson was known as the good girl at Degrassi. Sean Cameron was known as the bad boy, but he has a good heart. He cares about his friends, family and Emma who is his first love broke up Sean's always been protective of Emma, especially when Rick Murray went after her with a gun to her head for "leading him on." Luckily, Sean saved her life. What happens to Emma shortly after the shooting and will her life ever be the same? Will she find love again while Sean is in Wasaga? What will happen if he comes back for his girl? Let's just say that people find love in unexpected situations. You'll have to read to find out.

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**Emma's POV:****  
**The sky was dark when we got back to Toronto, which matched my mood, as we pulled up to Ellie's apartment, which was formerly Sean and Tracker's. Ellie got out of the car as I got out to sit up front next to Jay. "Are you okay?" Jay asked, feeling his eyes on me as I stared at Ellie's apartment. She was looking at the two of us confused, since Jay and I didn't even talk the whole car ride home. It was silent from all of us since I didn't feel like talking to the girl Sean said he loved.

We just left Wasaga and Sean behind since he needs to heal in his own way and I understand that he needs to distance himself from Degrassi and all of the damage that Rick caused after the shooting, but that doesn't make his departure any less painful. I missed him already, but he has got to heal from the shooting before he can come back to Degrassi.

He's not the only one who was traumatized by everything; Jimmy got shot and is now in a wheelchair, Toby lost his friend, I could have lost Sean or my life if things had turned out differently. If Rick had the gun in a different position during the fight for the gun with Sean, then I could have lost my first love. If Rick had pulled the trigger when he had a chance, then I could be dead right now. It's not like it makes a difference. Either way, Sean would have left town, but the only difference is that Sean will come back. If I was dead, he probably would run away to Wasaga and never come back to Toronto.

"I hate him." I said, glaring at the apartment before I turned to look at his best friend. Jay looked at me curiously as I saw Ellie shake her head from her front porch. "It's not his fault, Em. He protected you." I scoffed and looked away from him with tears in my eyes.

"Maybe I should have let Rick kill me like he wanted." I muttered under my breath. "Did you say something, Greenpeace?" Jay asked, as I realized what I just said. FUCK! I should **NOT** have said that because I didn't want Jay-or anyone else, especially Sean-to know that's how I secretly feel. "No." I said, as he narrowed his eyes on me, but let it go.

"Do you want to go to the Dot and get something to eat before I take you home?" To be honest, I didn't want to go home at all and think about everything that's happened in the last few weeks, but I did want to go to sleep and get rid of the my pain for a few hours. I wanted to decline, but I knew that he wouldn't let it go. "Yeah, if you don't mind." He shook his head.

"I don't mind, trust me." I looked at him, wondering if I really can trust him despite the fact that he's in a gang with Alex, Amy and Towerz. Shit! What would Alex think about this? "What about Alex?" He looked at me and then laughed a little bit.

"She won't suspect anything because nothing is going on between us anyway, Greenpeace." I raised my eyebrow at him. "She knows I'm dating her, besides she wouldn't believe it even if someone told her." I looked at him and nodded. "Also, Cameron wouldn't like it if I let anything happen to you." I nodded, as we drove away from Ellie's apartment. It was silent for awhile until we pulled up to The Dot.

I sighed, as Jay looked at me in concern after he turned the car off. "I know. He's a little protective of me." Jay scoffed. "A little?" I looked at him. "He took a bullet for you, Greenpeace, because he still loves you." I flinched at the reminder. "Yeah." I said and looked away from his eyes. "Then why the hell did he walk away from us after we broke up the second time after he met you and the rest of your gang?" I asked, hurt. I couldn't believe that he would walk away from us because I couldn't spend time with him due to Snake having cancer. I thought he would understand, but I guess not.

"He knew that you needed to help out at home and he thought it was best if he walked away from your relationship because you were under too much stress as it was. He didn't want to add onto that which is why he decided to let you go. He was pissed because of the situation, but he was **NOT** mad at you. He was more hurt than anything. He could never be mad at you and we all know that. You could hurt him in the worst possible way and he would still love you. You mean everything to him which is why he got between you and that Psycho. He would rather get hurt then lose you. As long as you are safe and happy, he doesn't care what the hell happens to him."

But does he know what it would do to me if he died? I shook my head because I didn't want to think about that.

I know that he would never forgive himself if anything happened to me, but I also knew that he would do his best to make it right.

"Come on. I got to take you home soon before Simpson gives me a detention or something.'' I laughed as we got out of the car and walked to the Dot. He chuckled and followed me. "Hey, Spin." I said, seeing Spinner at the counter cleaning it. "Hey, Emma." He stopped when he saw Jay. "Jay." He mumbled before turning to me.

Jay and I sat down as Spinner walked up to our table. "What can I get you two?" He asked as he looked at me questionably. I shook my head, knowing what he was thinking. He smiled. "Coke with some fries and a salad on the side." I said, as I gave him the menu. Jay gave him his menu when he was done. "I'll be back." He walked away as Jay looked at me. "What?" He shook his head again. "Nothing, Greenpeace." I laughed silently as my phone beeped. Manny was asking me if I wanted to hangout soon. I accepted and then put my phone away. Jay's phone rang and he answered it. "Hello...Yeah...Don't worry...She's fine...I know..." He said before he hung up.

I raised my eyebrow at him before I looked away. Soon our food came and we started eating. It was comfortable silence. My thoughts immediately went to Sean. I wonder how he's doing in Wasaga, but my guess is that he's dealing with the shooting in his own way. I just hope he comes back when he's ready to. I still couldn't believe that Rick was about to kill me. I still have nightmares about it, but no one knows about it except me.

After we were done, Jay paid for our food and we left the Dot. I got in his car and we drove off towards my house. It was comfortable silence. "Jay?" I asked, softly, wondering if he heard me. "Yeah." He replied, looking at me for a moment before turning to the road. "Thanks." He looked confused for a moment. "For what?" He asked, as I turned to the window. "For distracting me from...well...Sean and everything." He smiled before he frowned and sighed. "Emma, are you sure you're okay?" I kept on looking out the window and nodded, lying.

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Soon we made it to my house and I got out of the car with a sigh, didn't say anything to him and walked into the house. I slammed my bedroom door shut and started crying into the pillow. How could Rick do this? He ruined all of our lives and didn't even care about the fact that he held a gun to my face. I laughed bitterly. He said that he loved me...he doesn't. If he did then he wouldn't have put a gun to my head. If he loved Terri, then he would have never hurt her. He destroyed all of our lives and I don't know if it will ever got back to normal for any of us, especially Jimmy, Toby, Sean and myself. I didn't know what to do anymore because I feel like I'm losing every inch of myself. I feel numb, but at the same time, I cried myself to sleep, wondering if life will ever be the same again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Emma's POV:  
**I woke up the next morning and decided to cut class for the first time in my life because I need a break. I couldn't handle going to class when I have to use the hall that would bring up memories of Rick. I call that hall, "The hall of Terror." Lame. I know, but I couldn't come up with another name for it. I sighed as I grabbed my outfit from the closet. I walked over to my closet and grabbed a white and green shirt, a white skirt and my bag before going upstairs to the kitchen. I got an apple and saw my mom in the room. "Em, are you sure you don't want pancakes before classes?" I shook my head. "I'm good." I said, as she frowned. "I know that everything has been difficult for you, Emma, but you can't avoid it forever." I looked at her and frowned before I walked out the door.

The first thing I noticed was that a familiar orange civic parking next to the curb. "Come on, Greenpeace." Jay said, as I shook my head. I didn't want to go to school and I certainly didn't want any rumors to start because there is always rumors at Degrassi. "Get in, please?" Wow. I actually made Jay beg for me to get in the car and ask nicely? That's a new one. "I said that I don't need a ride. I'll walk." I said, as Jay shook his head with that smirk on his face. I shook my head and decided to go to the Ravine. The last time I was there, Sean and I cleaned it up and that led to our breakup because he wanted to hangout with Jay, Alex, Amy and Towerz due to "Jay being more fun," according to him. It wasn't my fault Snake had cancer which resulted in neglecting my relationship for a month. I sighed as the memory.

"I'm not leaving until you get in." I shook my head and started walking. Jay put his car in reverse and then he was out of sight. I walked until I made it to the Ravine and sat down on top of the table. I've heard stuff about this place, but haven't been here before now. I know I shouldn't be here-because people drink and do other things here, which is why there is a van a few feet away from me-but right now, I didn't have it in me to care anymore. I stopped caring about everything and anything after I got a gun pointed at me. How could this have happened? I thought Sean and I were going to get back together, but that can't happen due to him being in Wasaga and that he may have some lingering feelings for Ellie.

**Jay's POV:  
**I pulled up to the school in my car and sighed as I remembered the prank Spinner and I pulled with Alex's help. Luckily, no one knows about it. I parked at Degrassi and walked inside, hoping to talk to Emma at lunch or something. Alex noticed me by our lockers and kissed me. I kissed back and put my arm around her, before I noticed that Emma wasn't here yet. I was worried because I knew that Simpson would want her here and Emma could be hurt or something. If anything happened to her, Cameron wouldn't hesitate to kill me. He loves her more than anything and doesn't want to lose her. It's kind of weird If you ask me considering the fact that he's still worries about Emma even though he had a girlfriend and when he just broke up with said girlfriend.

Emma's best friend walked up to her locker looking for her. I walked up to her, confused myself. "Jay, have you seen Emma?" She said as I shook my head. "She said that she was going to walk to school, but I haven't seen her since." She looked worried now. "Do you really think she would cut class?" I shrugged, not knowing how to answer that.

"Maybe she's still trying to get over the shooting." Manny suggested, worried. "I agree, plus Cameron just left." I said, flinching at the reminder of the shooting. I sighed, as Toby, JT and Liberty came up to us. "Has anyone seen Emma?" JT asked, as we all shook our heads. "I'll go look for her." I said before I walked out of the front doors and towards my car. I got in and tried looking for her at some of the places and didn't find her. I decided to check the one place where I knew would be unlikely.

The Ravine.

I saw her sitting on the table, crying, but I couldn't see her face. "Em?" I whispered and approached her slowly, not wanting to scare her. "Emma?" I said as she ignored me. I sighed, walking over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?" I asked, softly. I slowly grabbed her hands and pulled them down so I could see her face. She looked at me with tears down her face. "Emma, please stop crying." I said, wiping her tears away. She held onto me for awhile as she tried to calm down.

After 15 minutes, her tears stopped as I held onto her. "Emma," she looked at me. "why did you cut class? You never skip." She sighed and looked down at my arms around her. "I needed a change. I just don't feel the same anymore." I looked at her confused. "What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"The things I used to care about-environment, dolphins, changing the world-don't seem to matter to me anymore. I used to start protests and wanted to help anyone and anything that needed help. People, animals, Rick..." She paused before looking at me when she mentioned his name. "and look where all of that got me. I used to be happy, a good girl, perfect..." she said that last word with disgust. "at everything. A good friend to everyone, student at Degrassi, good daughter to my parents." She started crying again. "Hell, I even tried to be the good and perfect girlfriend to Sean and look how that shit ended."

"He got in a fight with Jimmy Brooks? I tried to get them to stop and he accidentally pulled a Rick on me by shoving me to the ground. We broke up the next day. I had to spend time at home more often last year because Snake had cancer, so I couldn't hang out with Sean as much as I wanted to which resulted in him hanging out with you and the rest of your gang due to the fact that, 'I'm not fun.' He got pissed because I couldn't spend more time with him. I tried to be nice to Rick and almost got killed in the process which led to Sean protecting me." She scoffed. "Please."

"Emma, your break ups with Cameron weren't your fault. Sure he accidentally pushed you down the first time, but he shouldn't have gotten mad about you not being able to hangout with him. Simpson had cancer. You couldn't control that." I said, looking at her. "Yeah, but Rick was the one who brought a gun to school and shot Jimmy." I felt guilt due to the fact that I was the reason Jimmy got shot, but I would **NEVER** admit that to anyone, let alone the girl sitting in front of me.

"He tried to kill me because I didn't like him in a romantic way. As if he ever had a chance with me. He hurt Terri and tried to kill me in front of Sean. He never had a chance." I still held onto her. "I just don't feel anything anymore. If Sean ever comes back, then I wouldn't even be happy to see him. I don't feel happy, sad or even angry anymore."

"Emma, it will be okay. I promise. I'll help you if you will let me." She smiled and we hugged. "Can we get out of here?" I nodded and got up. She took my hand and walked to my car.

We made it back to Degrassi 5 minutes before class starts. Everyone looked at us in shock as we awkwardly let go. "Sorry." I said, as she nodded and ran down the hall really fast. Alex came up to me when I was opening my locker. "I see that you walked in holding hands with Cause Girl." I rolled my eyes as she glared at me. "Are you cheating?" I looked at her as I got my notebooks. "No. Alex, trust me." I said, getting tired of her crap. "You better not, Jay." She continued glaring before she walked down the hallway the same way Emma went. I sighed, as I shook my head. Alex would be pissed if I broke up with her.

**Emma's POV:  
**I walked down the hall to hear Alex shout my name, but I ignored her. "Cause Girl!" She yelled as I was pushed against the locker. _Now I know how Rick felt when he was bullied before he died. _I thought, as Alex continued yelling at me. I didn't care though because I had another things to worry about. "Alex, stop. Nothing is happening between Jay and I." I told her before she punched me. Jay quickly pulled her away from me, but not before I punched her back.

"Alex, knock it off. We are over." Jay said, as I looked at him in shock. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Emma's POV:  
**I've never seen Jay so serious, but right now his eyes never left hers. I looked back and fort between the two of them as Alex glared at me and said, "This isn't over." looking at both of us before she walked away from us. Jay sighed and turned to me. "Jay, are you sure about this?" He nodded and I walked off to class. I noticed Manny sitting down at her desk. She looked up as I entered the room. "Hey, Em." She looked at me for a second and then asking what happened. "Jay broke up with Alex a couple of minutes ago." She was shocked. "They've been dating since forever." I nodded.

"I know, but she accused him of cheating on her just because he gave me a ride to school." She looked surprised. "Em, be careful around Jay. He was sort of the reason why you and Sean broke up, remember?" She asked, as I nodded. "I guess." I said, as the bell rang for class to start.

"Alright class. Today you will be working on a new assignment and it has to be about how little decisions make a big difference and what the results could be and how everyone could be involved." He said, as my mind immediately flashed to Rick and the shooting. I shook my head and tried concentrating on the assignment. "It could be about anything you want-the environment, school, home. Friends, family," Simpson looked at me sympathetically and worried. "Or about your romantic relationships." He turned to look back at everyone. "Anything you want-so please try and do a good job."

I sighed, "Well, this should be easy." Manny said, as I looked straight ahead and saw Jay outside of the room.

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After class was over, I walked out of the room and saw Jay down the hallway, but I ignored him. "Emma, wait!" He yelled as I continued walking, not wanting to deal with him since he is kind of the reason why Sean and I broke up in the first place.

Soon, it was time for lunch and I ate with Manny, Liberty, JT and Toby. "We have a drama club meeting after school." JT announced, as Liberty and I nodded. "What it is about?" Liberty asked and got a shrug from JT in response. "I don't know, but we have to be there." We ate our lunch in silence as I thought about what it could be. I was kind of excited because it would take my mind off of Alex, Jay, the shooting, Rick and Sean.

I saw Alex and Jay at their table with his arms around her and sighed. I guess they got back together. That was quick.

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After school was over, I made my way to the drama room. Liberty and JT were already there. "Alright everyone." Raditch said, looking at us. "I've decided that we are going to have a play, but does anyone have any ideas?"

Manny stood next to me as we all shook our heads, except Liberty. "What about Dracula?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea, given recent events." Once again, I thought about Rick and the shooting. Why can't I get over the shooting? Rick has destroyed my life. Thanks a lot.

"Please. I think it would realty help the school." Raditch sighed and nodded. "JT, Liberty will be the directors." He said before he walked away. "Ok, everyone needs to audition if you want to be in the play." Liberty said, just as the doors opened. Jay, Alex and Amy came in. I rolled my eyes. "What's the matter, Greenpeace. Surprised to see me?"

I scoffed. "No, considering that you are trouble and involved in my break up with Sean." I hissed at him before I walked away. "You okay, Em?" Manny asked as I nodded.

For the next hour, the people who wanted to be in the play auditioned for the roles they wanted to portray. Alex wouldn't stop glaring at me for most of the time and Jay couldn't stop looking at me for some reason. "...and Jay are all going to work on props." Liberty said, before she turned to JT. "I think that's enough for today. You can all go home and we will get back to you."

"Hey, do you need a ride home?" I turned and saw Jay looking at me with a small smirk. "No thanks." Alex tried hiding a laugh, but she couldn't. Jay and I turned to her. "I think Cause girl can take care of herself, Jay." She said, looking at me before she turned to him. "Come on. Let's go to the Ravine." Alex said, as Jay turned back to me. "Please, Greenpeace." I glared at him because of the nickname he gave me.

"Fine." I went up to Manny and said, "Jay is taking me home." She looked shocked and smirked. "Ooh. Be careful, Em. He is pretty hot." Alex groaned in annoyance as all three of us walked to his car. Alex got in the front as I got in the back.

It was awkward between the three of us, since no one spoke. As I got out of the car, I felt his eyes on me, heard a slap and "Ow, that hurt," followed by Alex muttering "You deserve it." I turned back to look at Alex and Jay. He smirked, looking at me, while Alex looked pissed off. I laughed out loud before I went inside. Jay is in serious trouble with Alex now.

"Hey, Emma. How was school?" I smiled and told my mom about the play we were doing. "I auditioned, but I don't know if I'm going to get the role. I need something to distract me from...everything." She frowned, knowing what I was talking about.

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I was busy the next couple of days with the play and school, which left little time to myself. I auditioned, but JT gave the role of Mina-that was the role I auditioned for-to Darcy. I was a little disappointed because I needed something like that to distract me, but I knew that I couldn't complain much because I was still involved in it in some way.

I was in class right now and Jay was sitting next to me. He smirked as I glared at him. "Alright, class. I have decided to give you all a project to work on for a month. You can choose what you're topic is about. You can work with one other person, but that's it." The teacher grabbed a jar of small pieces of paper. "Half of you will choose a partner, so make sure that you guys can get along. If not, then you will have a choice to pick someone else. Good Luck." Soon the teacher went around the room and it was my turn. I grabbed a piece of paper and opened it. "Who did you choose, Emma?"

"Jay." I looked at him to see him smirking at me. I groaned. "Will that be alright?" I nodded before I turned back to him.

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When the bell rang I ran out of the room before everyone else as I heard a voice call my name. "Em, why did you just run out of class?" I turned to Manny and quickly changed the subject. Soon we heard yelling and looked down the hallway. Alex and Jay were arguing before she noticed my eyes on the both of them as she glared at me, while Jay was smirking. "Can this day get any worse?" I groaned before I headed off to my next class. "I've decided to have you guys pair up for an assignment." I tuned the teacher out and looked shocked when I heard my name. "Emma Nelson and Ellie Nash." The teacher looked around and said, "Alex Nunez will be joining you." Well, today just got worse. The teacher just explained the rest of the assignment as I tuned it out.

I walked out of the classroom before anyone else could because I really wanted to go to lunch and avoid Jay, Alex and Ellie, especially Alex. I don't know which one is more awkward: getting paired up with Alex-who hates me-getting paired up with Sean's former girlfriend or both. Ugh.

I quickly made it to lunch to see Manny, JT, Liberty and Toby at the table. "What happened earlier, Em? You seem kind of surprised and worried." I nodded before I felt 3 pairs of eyes on me. I turned to see Jay and his gang at their table: Jay was smirking, Alex looked more pissed off-if that was possible-and over at Marco's table, Ellie Nash was staring at me. I glared back at all of them before I turned back to Manny and the rest of my friends.

"I got paired up with Jay Hogart for a project." They all looked at each other, before they turned to Jay. "It gets worse. Not only do we have to work on it for a month, but I'm also paired up with Ellie and Alex for a paper that's due soon." None of them moved, spoke, or anything. I snapped my fingers at Manny who laughed really loudly along with JT, Liberty and Toby. Everyone's eyes were on us before Manny ate her sandwich, Liberty and JT looked at each other and Toby laughed again.

"What?" Manny smirked. "Like I told you before: be careful around Jay. He's not like Sean in terms of attitude." I scoffed. "I will be careful, but I wish I wasn't working with any of them."

"Who would you rather get paired up with: Jay, Alex or Ellie."

"Ellie. At least I know that we can try to get along. Jay would just annoy me to death and Alex would throw insults at me and then try to kill me." I said, as Manny nodded. "I agree. Ellie is the better option." JT said, before we started talking about the play.

"Are you excited about the play, Em?" JT asked, looking at me. I shrugged. "It gives me a distraction from everything, so yes." Ellie appeared next to me. "Hey. I know that we aren't exactly friends, but I thought we could work on the assignment at my apartment." I nodded, before I turned to Manny and the rest of my friends.

_This is going to be a long assignment. _


End file.
